Red Light, Yellow Light, and Green Light in Relationships

Are you choosing green light relationships or are you choosing yellow and red light relationships?

Photo by Tsvetoslav Hristov on Unsplash

When I was wondering if I should pursue a friendship with someone that I felt doubtful about, my therapist presented me with the concept of red light, yellow light, and green light.

The concept felt at once brilliant and mundane. Traffic lights are in front of me every day! Why haven’t I thought about it before?

I had heard about red light, yellow light, and green light at dating parties in college. You wear red if you’re in a relationship, yellow if you’re unsure or if you’re in an open relationship, and green if you’re single.

But this is different. My therapist told me to think about these colors in terms of the other person’s behavior and if I would want to be closer to them or further away because of their actions. This concept can be applied towards job considerations, coworkers, friendships, group dynamics, and potential suitors. You name it.

For instance, whenever I meet a new person. I can consider if their words and actions are red, yellow, or green. If a person invites me out, it’s a green light. If that person then cancels, can’t make up their mind about when and where to…