Overcoming childhood trauma and narcissistic or parental abuse are extremely difficult but it is doable. When I started this journey, I couldn’t see for miles — hundreds and thousands of miles. Turbulent airflow forever.

Many healing steps, which follow the 12-step program, didn’t fit me. I am not a proponent…


If you’re recovering from a traumatic past, it can be difficult to find helpful resources that validate your experience. Some well-meaning people will tell you to move on, forgive, go exercise, etc. without realizing that they are dismissing, minimizing, and invalidating the victim, which can easily re-traumatize a person. …


This is a super unsexy but informative essay describing the vicious cycle of the co-dependent and abuser cycle that is formed during childhood. It’s probably going to read like a scientific paper with an ugly diagram and stilted language but give me a break! …


What My Boyfriend’s Dog Told Me About His Family

Is it just me or do dysfunctional couples have dysfunctional pets?

The first time I noticed this phenomenon was when I started my first serious relationship my freshman year in college. After a few weeks of dating, my boyfriend’s mom sent him a Valentine’s Day card through the pov of…


The Problem of the Kind-Hearted Addict Father as Unsung Hero

Note: This essay contains spoilers from the recently popular series show, “Squid Games” on Netflix.

Squid Games is well on its way to becoming Netflix’s biggest show ever. As an Asian American, I’m proud that a South Korean show is being embraced and viewed all around the world. The use…


We Need to Talk About Adult Bullies

I’m being bullied by my next-door neighbors.

I knew there would be trouble when they moved in. My body knew it. My brain knew it. The little hairs on my neck prickled. A cold sweat washed over my back. The first thought I had was, “My parents moved in.”

While…


Here’s How I Received a Grant

If you’re a filmmaker or want to be one, you’ve probably heard of Sundance. By now, the name (the festival and the brand) has become the holy grail of American indie filmmaking. They receive up to 30,000 and even more submissions per year. Statistically, the chances of getting into a…


How I misused love bombing and trauma in friendships and relationships

When you think of love bombing you probably think of effusive shows of love such as presents, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch.

As a codependent with lots of childhood trauma, I approached every person and interaction trying to become as close as possible and…


And how logic can be illogical

As children, we learn how to behave based on the people around us. This is true for adults too, but most of our thoughts and beliefs are formed during childhood because that’s when we are most malleable and trusting of others. As someone who grew up in a dysfunctional household…


An Ex-Codependent Learns the Joy of Bathroom Products

As someone who grew up very poor with the idea that self-sacrifice is the most important virtual, it took me a long time to learn that even the little things in life can be a treat and bring a sense of joy. As an ex-codependent, I also used external things…

Charlotte

My private diaries. I write about mental health, childhood trauma & dysfunctional family systems. Show your support: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/HelloCharlotte

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